Unexpected Opportunities
“Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.”
Image Credit @dbmartin00
You know how you had life planned out...what you wanted and expected? Then, despite all the planning and dreaming, it didn’t turn out exactly how you thought it would.
Looking back over my life, expectations, and hopes for the future, I realize many things now are different than I thought they would be. And almost without exception, even when I couldn't see the road ahead, much turned out better than I could have envisioned.
Unexpected opportunities surface at the most inopportune and challenging times. A cancer diagnosis is dreaded and feared, yet within that chaotic bubble, there are soulmates to be found, lessons to be learned, and others to tutor.
A job loss provides an unexpected opportunity to reevaluate, regroup, and reimagine, even though it can be an ego injury and undesired. A broken relationship, as painful, heartbreaking, and devastating as it can be, can open the door to growth, potential, and interests long forgotten.
Seeing opportunities in distressing situations is difficult because our energy is focused on surviving, navigating, and avoiding being overwhelmed. Distressing times are distressing, but it's important to feel the distress and grieve the loss. It takes time—sometimes a lot—and taking this time is necessary. Usually, there’s no fast track through it.
When you are ready, whether you are facing moving forward with a medical challenge, a relationship challenge, or one of many life-changing experiences, remember that others have been here. They figured out how to manage, survive, and make the most of today and the days ahead. And if the days ahead seem insurmountable, the best you can do is say, "What will I do with the day I have?"
Today is the day you have. Will you spend it depressed, playing games on your phone, sleeping, reaching out to a loved one, doing something creative, or writing and sharing the lessons you’ve learned so others can benefit?
My best friend, Ellen, who died way too prematurely from endometrial cancer, sang The Rose* at my wedding in 1995. Here is a portion of that song...
It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It’s the one who won’t be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dyin’ that never learns to live.
Seeing opportunities during good times can be easy, but it takes more effort during the tough times. It’s helpful to ask, “Where is the opportunity here to learn, connect, teach, laugh, share, and find joy or meaning?” Is it possible to learn to dance, even now? Is it possible to dream and take a chance? Is it possible to learn to live, even now? What is possible?
There will always be distressing times and opportunities, even though distress, for a time, obscures seeing the opportunity. Look for the unexpected opportunities. They are there. It can change your life.
* (The Rose was written by Amanda McBroom and first performed by Bette Midler.)