Balancing The Unbalanceable
“Symmetry may have its appeal but it is inherently stale. Some kind of imbalance is behind every transformation.”
Image Credit @jeremythomasphoto
For many years now, I’ve suggested we each have a word that is meaningful - a word that describes our focus and goals - just one word.
The word I chose was “balance.” My word has never changed over time. It’s a valuable and descriptive word for me even though I never achieve it. But it’s always there - waiting for me to arrive.
If you were to look on the internet for “life balance,” you’d find phrases like “find your balance,” “work-life balance,” or “getting your life back in balance.” I found all of those phrases helpful in the past. What I’ve learned, however, is that getting your life back in balance implies that you once had it in balance, and more likely than not, that isn’t true. I’ve learned that you don’t find your balance, you create it. I’ve learned that in different seasons of life, achieving balance can be difficult and may seem impossible, basically “unbalanceable.”
Situations such as getting through cancer treatment, grieving the death of a family member or pet, or making life-changing medical, relationship, or employment decisions are typically a time of imbalance. Time is consumed by going to medical appointments, experiencing immobilizing grief spasms, or figuring out how to navigate major changes that hold an uncertain future. All are overwhelming. There is no balance there.
Then there are the everyday activities that challenge us in deciding how we focus our time and energy: Is there too much work time and not enough family time? Too much family time and not enough self-care time? Too many social interactions and not enough solitude? Too much isolation and not enough social support? Too much technology time and not enough nature time? Too much lethargy and not enough physical activity? Too much worry and not enough stress management? Too many “have-tos” and not enough “want-tos?”
It’s interesting to me that the word “balance” can be used as a noun or a verb. The definition as a noun includes: physical equilibrium, mental or emotional steadiness, stability. As a verb: to bring into harmony or proportion. So it can be a state of being but also an action word. I like that we can use our important words as both nouns and verbs – like hope, as mentioned in a previous blog, The Hope Chest.
Words have always carried a great deal of weight with me. I believe someone when they say something. I take people at their word. Words can be hurtful or healing. I’ve learned how powerful my own words are (my self-talk), and how I can use my words to calm or empower myself and others.
I have a niece who chooses a new “word” at the beginning of each new year – a word that is the focus for the entire year for her time and energy. I’m going to stick with my word, “balance,” because it carries so much power and hope in my life. What’s important is to select a word that carries meaning and significance.
Finally, I’m not sure I know anyone who has their life completely in balance, as some are in the midst of those unbalanceable times while others are in the normal seasons of life of parenting, career development, empty-nesting, or retirement – all with unique challenges. We may not be able to balance the unbalanceable, but I’ve come to understand that obtaining balance is not the goal but a process that’s constantly shifting. What’s vital is recognizing the imbalances that are present and using that knowledge as a springboard for growth and well-being, because as Marcelo Gleiser say, “Some kind of imbalance is behind every transformation.”
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