I have been an oncology social worker for over 35 years, and during that time, I shared many patients with my husband, a counselor at the cancer center where we both worked. We learned several lessons over the years from those who had a cancer diagnosis. One of the most valuable came from Harold.

We've all been there amid the storm, both literally and figuratively: the ferocious rainstorm that seemed never ending with raging torrents of water eliciting fear of drowning, the blinding blizzard making it impossible to see the front end of your car, not to mention the vehicles ahead of you; the enormous tornado cloud that surely brought a run-away train with it along with damaging wind and flying objects leaving both humans and structures battered...all storms that were potentially life-threatening and something you didn't want to be part of.

We adopted him when he was four months old. His given name was Chip. But that didn't fit him. He was Smokey from that day in August when our lives were forever joined.

Remember when someone told you that you weren't enough...not tall enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, young enough, old enough, smart enough, talented enough, experienced enough, rich enough, educated enough, sophisticated enough, conservative enough, liberal enough? If only you were enough. 

When I was an undergraduate student many years ago, a book entitled I’m Ok—You’re Ok by Thomas A. Harris, M.D., was very popular. The book’s subtitle is “A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis,” and centers on a method for solving problems in life.

When I was young, I knew nothing about football. My high school was so small there weren't enough players to field a team, so I never learned the rules of the game.

My dad played football in high school when they had 8-man teams, but that was years before I was born. I cherish a photo of him playing quarterback in the 1920s, throwing the ball downfield.

I listened to his song for days and days. It was a soothing, beautiful song. I eventually came to know it as a love song.

He came faithfully every day, sitting in the tree, singing his heart out to his love and mate. She was protecting and warming their love children, yet to be born, in the nest they had built together. I was in awe of their equal partnership.

I'm watching two of my Yankee Candle jar candles burn, nearing the end of their lifespans. One, almost finished, has a clean and beautiful interior. The other has messy wax halfway up the side of the jar. I don't know why they are different, but I'm intrigued by each.

You know how you had life planned out...what you wanted and expected? Then, despite all the planning and dreaming, it didn’t turn out exactly how you thought it would. Looking back over my life, expectations, and hopes for the future, many things are different than I thought. And almost without exception, even when I couldn't see the road ahead, much turned out better than I could have envisioned.