Two Candles
“Life is still life. It’s still tough, complicated, and more than a little messy, with lessons to be learned, mistakes to be made, triumphs and disappointments to be had, and not every day is meant to be a party.”
Image Credit @sharonmccutcheon
I'm watching two of my Yankee Candle jar candles burn, nearing the end of their lifespans. One, almost finished, has a clean and beautiful interior. The other has messy wax halfway up the side of the jar. I don't know why they are different, but I'm intrigued by each.
Looking at the balsam cedar jar (my favorite Yankee Candle scent), I'm annoyed by the messiness of the wax. It's not as pretty as I hoped it would be. I don't like the unsightly wax in the jar. The lovely, near-perfect lavender jar candle makes me happy, calm, and peaceful. It's ended its life beautifully, and the way I love for candles to finish their time.
Jar candles and all candles have unique personalities. Tapers can burn beautifully and eloquently or drip wax everywhere; pillar candles can have a simple, steady flame, burn unevenly, drown in their wax, or be off-center and unattractive.
Candles aren’t perfect. But candles, though, do what needs to be done: they have a flame, a light, and a purpose. They remind me that even when I struggle, I must remember that perfectionism is not a requirement for being human and that life is complicated and challenging. Sometimes, I may feel like I’m off-center or drowning in fear or anxiety. It’s important to remember that the flame I carry, even in "messy times," is still a light for myself and others.
Honestly, I want so much to be the lavender candle...calm, peaceful, and stress-free, and sometimes I am. The balsam cedar candle, though, is me sometimes, as well…cranky and impatient. I don't like the imperfection or the messiness of the balsam cedar jar, but I know the essence of that candle, the fragrance that is the core of who I am.
If I lived as a hermit or a monk with limited interactions and few stressors or complications, maybe I could always be a lavender candle. But that is not the life I want or would choose. I want to be a balsam cedar candle with the daily challenges, knowing my flame will carry me through the dark times and, maybe, light the way for another.
I love all of the concepts in Alyson Noel’s quote. Anyone who has faced adversity (and who hasn’t?) knows that life is tough, complicated, and more than a little messy. She’s right when she says that every day isn’t meant to be a party—nor would I want it to be—because I want and need solitude to regroup and be revitalized.
There are mistakes to be made, but making mistakes only means I’m trying something new or different. Learning from mistakes is a bonus. Experiencing triumphs and disappointments means my flame is still burning – sometimes clean and smooth in the candle jar and sometimes unsightly and unattractive and imperfect. Either way, the flame continues to provide light and warmth.
There are two candles, and I am both of them.
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