When Your Guide Is Gone
“What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
Image Credit @nickdefonseca
Do you remember when you looked up to your basketball coach, your science teacher, or your youth minister? They were your guides who taught you new skills or showed you a different way to see the world. It seemed they were full of wisdom and always had the right words to inspire you.
Do you remember how your counselor, best friend, or mom was always there to listen, validate, and truly understand you? They took the time to be present and to get to know you with all your faults, strengths, aspirations, and weaknesses. And now they're not here.
It's incredibly hard to accept that your Guide is gone, the one who listened and was almost always available, who knew just the right words to put everything in perspective. And suddenly, you are the adult in the room. You are The Guide. You are the one that another may turn to for wisdom. Now you're supposed to be The One? The person who guides someone else? How is that possible?
There are so many emotions swirling within when your Guide is gone: feeling lost, without a compass, alone, off balance, inadequate, all while trying to remember who you are without them. However, if you listen closely in the quiet moments, you can hear a still, small voice lingering in your mind. You can hear their voice and guidance as surely as if they were sitting next to you, having a conversation over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. If you listen carefully, you know what they will say because your Guide is never far from you. You only need to remember. Remember who taught you. Remember how your mentor taught by example, challenged, encouraged, and saw the best in you. You are the product of your mentor's tutoring. Remember who you are.
You now have the privilege to continue their legacy by being the person they always knew you to be. It is a gift to honor them by guiding others on the path your Guide forged for you—whether your Guide is your mom, dad, best friend, counselor, sister, or partner.
Scottish poet Donna Ashworth reminds us through her poetry that love and grief are intertwined and that life’s true treasure lies in those we hold most dear.
When I go, don’t learn to live without me; just learn to live with my love in a different way.
And if you need to see me, close your eyes or look in your shadow when the sun shines. I’m there.
Sit with me in the quiet, and you will know that I did not leave.
There is no leaving when a soul is blended with another.
When I go, don’t learn to live without me, but learn to look for me in the moments. I will be there.
Your Guide will always be a part of you, every day and into eternity.
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